Networking is hard and terrifying. Don’t forget.
I’ve written before about the importance of taking networking meetings. I know, it usually helps one side more than the other, but when a young graduate, or soon-to-be-graduate has the guts to reach out and ask you for a few minutes, take the goddamn meeting. As difficult as it might be to get into your schedule, I promise you it was more difficult for them to scrape together the courage to call or email you.
I’ve been on the receiving end of those calls and emails and have always taken those meetings. It’s nice to be in a position to help ambitious young talent find his or her way. We all needed help at some point, and we’ll all need it again. To be honest, these meetings often get me fired up and energized, inspired by their humble hustle, working outside of their comfort zone, and just plain getting after it.
My first call
It was around 20 years ago and I was looking to make some local connections in the marketing industry. I’m what’s called an “extroverted introvert,” (yes, that’s a real thing), so even though I can be extrovert-ish, I’m kind of introverted by default.
That tidbit about me is relevant here because this is a story about my first networking phone call. E-mail was a thing and yeah, everyone had it, but it was yet to be the acceptable first medium to contact someone new and introduce yourself. So…that meant I had to muster up the courage to actually pick up a phone, call, and speak to this guy.
He was the CEO of a growing boutique marketing agency and the only reason I was calling the top dog was because he was a family friend of a friend of mine. It was a warm intro, meaning he was supposedly expecting my call. That helped a little, but by “a little,” I mean I was only shitting my pants in fear and not shitting my pants AND throwing up.
Beep boop beep beep boop
I really don’t think six buttons on a phone has ever taken longer to push than when this call was made. My bedroom door was locked. Many deep breaths were taken. Prayers were muttered — in two different languages, even — just to be sure.
The last button was pushed.
There is always that half second you have to hang up after the last number was dialed but before it started ringing, but nope…it was ringing. Point of no return.
Please voicemail. Please voicemail. Please voicemail.
“Hello, this is [he said his name].”
Crap.
Welp, I was officially networking
This is where I usually blackout and go into automatic pilot, but for some reason, I remember to this day how this conversation went, and even what I was thinking throughout.
I introduced myself right off the bat and let him know how I got his number, as a gentle reminder that he doesn’t know me, but he was expecting me. We made the connection. Sweet.
I explained to him that they suggested that I call him as I was looking to learn more about local marketing agencies and about the general landscape of the industry. I told him how I was enrolling into an MBA program and that I was hoping to meet people in the field so I could get a better understanding and focus on where I wanted to pursue my professional interests.
You know….all that.
Maybe 20–30 seconds in so far, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job…
…but then he interrupted.
“Ok…yeah…let me cut to the chase, what is it that you want from me?”
There was an impatient and rude tone. Gulp. Ok. Now I was all thrown off and didn’t know what to do or say. I remember he sounded kind of mean, but maybe I was imagining it. I do recall that he sounded a lot like Mr. Jameson, the mean Editor-in-Chief of the Daily Bugle from Spiderman.
I told him that I was hoping to get some of his time, or someone else’s at his agency, to talk a little about the industry and about my ambitions within. Some guidance on what areas I should know about that I probably don’t know about.
Then it got weird
He kept telling me he was really busy and that he didn’t have time for any of this. He said it again. And again. And then some more. I remember thinking that he was saying it a lot — repeating himself as if I couldn’t hear him…it was super weird. Ok man, I get it. You’re busy.
At this point, he was done listening and he was just trying to get off the phone.
Then, he said something I’ll never forget: He told me that If I wanted to learn more about marketing, I should just go to the library and check out some books about marketing.
That was his way of helping. He’s too busy. Has no time. Get my ass to the library and leave him alone.
I think he hung up at the exact same time I was thanking him for his time and saying good bye. I was too old to cry about it, but also…I kind of felt like crying about it. Damn, is this how all of these calls are going to go?
What. A. Dick.
Was he having a bad day? Yeah probably. Should he have been professional enough to keep that to himself and not take it out on me? Most definitely.
Never forget
Since then, I’ve done ok. Ok enough to have received many calls and emails from people that have asked me for a little bit of my time. It’s easy to want to forget my awful first experience, but I’m glad I never have.
It still is a good reminder in a “don’t ever become this guy” kind of way.
I’ve recently been on both sides of these kinds of meetings and I can’t think of one of them — in my life — that wasn’t valuable in some kind of way.
Great leaders don’t create followers. Great leaders create other great leaders.
Putting yourself “out there” in any shape, way, or form is always terrifying. Exponentially so when you’re young, clueless, and just doing what you thought you were supposed to be doing.
Even writing about this experience here stirs up some old emotions. But I’m glad it happened. I like when jerks are jerks to me early. It saves me time.
No matter where you are or what you’re doing in life, professionally or otherwise, I promise there is someone out there that would absolutely love your thoughts and guidance. When they have the guts to ask you for it, remember what it was like and I hope you take the meeting.
#bewhatyoumake
