It’s not what we have in common, it’s what we don’t
I was recently talking about how I could go about getting some of my old friends from college together this year. It’s been years since I’ve seen many of them, and even longer since we’ve all been together. We’re scattered all over the world now, so I’m working on how I can make this happen in a way that is easiest for everyone. Location, time of year, etc. I don’t expect everyone to make it, but I’d like to see what we could pull off. More on this as it develops….
Planning this, naturally, got me reminiscing a little about these guys and the experiences we shared. To be honest, looking at each of us “on paper,” we probably don’t have all that much in common in the way of character traits. You probably wouldn’t even think that we’d be friends with each other.
But, alas, here we are and you’d be wrong.
Why We Like Things
As mentioned many times before, my wife is much smarter than I am, so I was asking her for advice on how I might be able to get these these old fools together this year. That evolved to me telling her a few stories, which then evolved to telling her what I like about each of these guys.
She made an interesting observation, which she then saw true in most — if not all — of her favorite friends:
We like our friends because of their quirks, the ways they are different than us. It’s what makes them interesting. It’s how they challenge us to see and experience typical things in a completely new way.
If you met your best friend for the first time today, what would you think?
No, for real. Think about that for an extra second or two…I’ll wait right here.
Interesting, right?
It’s not that you shouldn’t be BFFs, it’s just that shared experiences have the ability to override the need for common character traits. Take away those years of shared experiences, and things might seem different.
But either way, in the end, what most of us are looking for in a friend is someone to accept us and challenge us at the same time. It’s a little bit of a dance to say, “I love you just how you are, but also…maybe try it this way instead.”
Lifelong best friends are interesting because it’s like always having someone to push you, terrified, off a cliff while also acting as your parachute.
How we like our friends tells us a lot about how we live our lives
Seeking new things can be scary. But probably even more scary is experiencing familiar things in a new way. That’s the kind of stuff that can flip our worlds upside down.
Friends that are able to make the familiar seem different and novel are special because they enable you to learn more about the experiences that you love, and to which you keep returning.
If you aren’t open to learning absolutely everything about something you claim to love, then do you really love it?
Friends that challenge our views make sure that when you love something, you also know it as well as you can.
New ways of doing old things
When I started a music supply business, I wanted to offer musicians a new way to do something that they already love doing — making music. With 100% sustainable and eco-friendly gear, I wanted to offer a new perspective to an experience that was already so familiar by changing their relationship with the tools they use to make their art.
So far, so good.
The exploration of anyone, or anything, that is able to change a “typical” experience should be indulged. It doesn’t always work, but the new perspective is earned and stays with you whether or not the person — or thing — does.
PSA: Give your BFF a call today. You’ll both be glad you did.
#bewhatyoumake
