Earn the right to ask for it. Then, just ask for it.
I was reminiscing with yesterday about someone who I haven’t seen in years. Her name is Maura and she used to cut my hair. I always looked forward to seeing her because she was hilarious, friendly, and had the ability to talk about anything and everything. That, and she always gave you a straight answer to any question…so you always knew where you stood with her.
One story that came up was how she got her first hair stylist job. She went in to interview with the owner and they hit it off. I think she might have shadowed some other stylists at the place and met some clients. Usually, at that point, a decision can be made on the applicant based on skill level and cultural “fit” for the vibe of the studio.
Well, not this time. Maura, for whatever reason, got called in a second time to interview and talk to more employees, do some more shadowing, and go through the whole dance again. She was a good sport and wanted the job, so she did so gladly. No big deal.
Now, she was going to play the waiting game to see what their decision was.
Nope.
A third interview
Ok. Well, this seems a bit much, but she went with it. Her hair styling skills have been proven. Personal compatibility has been established. Ambition and desire to get the job has been noted. More shadowing, more talking to current employees — many of which she’s friends with at this point — and more talking to the owner.
Done. NOW they’ll let her know so she can get on with her life. I mean, they have to know now whether they want her or not, right?
Nope. You guessed it.
A request for a fourth interview came in.
Since she’s pretty friendly with the employees there now, she has the inside scoop that this is ridiculous and unprecedented. But she’s a good sport, so she comes in for the song and dance again.
She was expecting an answer then and there…but didn’t get one.
Then she took control
Maura: How many more interviews are there going to be before you make a decision?
Owner: Oh, umm…I don’t know. Why do you ask?
Maura: Well, because I’m running out of outfits to wear.
Owner: (Laughing) *offers her the job on the spot*
Bam.
The power of asking
This story encapsulates Maura perfectly: patient, kind, but when enough’s enough, she just asks for what she wants. Here, she asked for a decision to be made and got it. Regardless of what the decision was, she was going to go to whatever was next.
There’s a lot of ways that our tendency to wait until something is presented to us manifests itself in our lives. Many of these things we wait for are things that we’ve actually earned, too.
It can be a job, a date, a second chance, or a potential client’s business.
Asking for something that you feel you’ve earned isn’t arrogant or pushy. If done in the right context, it can be both confident and respectful — confident in your earning it, and respectful of both your time and the other party’s time.
Get to the point to where you can ask for what you want because you’ve earned it. Whether you get it or not may not be up to you, but earning the right to ask is.
#bewhatyoumake
