I feel bad for feeling bad for them.

Ok, look. I like dogs. I do. I have never owned one, nor do we own one now, but I get it. Dogs are cool and all my friends growing up had one so I can understand why dog owners love them so much. My sister has one. My sister-in-law has one. My in-laws have one. My kid’s piano teacher has one. I’m around these fantastic creatures all the time. I pet them. I scratch them. They mostly like me. It’s all good. Yay dogs.

But you guys, we have to stop thinking that these dogs are children. Can we do that? I mean, ok if not and I still love you, but yikes you guys. I saw the most ridiculous bumper sticker on a car recently.

“I love my granddog.”

Wait wait wait, what? Your granddog? So let me get this straight, you — a human — procreated and made at least one other human. Ok…I’m following. Then, that human grew up and acquired a canine. Ok…still with you. Then, your aforementioned offspring proceeded to hastily liken dog ownership with having and raising an actual human baby…so much so, that s/he calls that canine their child. Hmmm…that’s not ok. Then, you — two entire degrees away from said canine — go as far as to enable their crazy, apples-to-apples comparison of human child to canine by, in real life, calling your offspring’s dog your “granddog?” Ok…you lost me. No wait, and then you decide that it’s so cute that you put a sticker on your car announcing it. Ok…you need to rethink your life.

Harsh? Yeah maybe…

But here’s the thing: Something isn’t something just because you say that it is.

I was one of the last ones in my group of friends to marry and have kids. Being left out of conversations that had to do with marriage and kids, which in your late 20s and early 30s is most conversations with your friends, was hard to get used to. It was fine, though, because I don’t need to have a point of view on every topic discussed. I’m more than happy to sit out the next few plays and go back to thinking about how that first chord of Hard Day’s Night actually goes.

I was never (I don’t think?) so desperate to relate to things that I took something out of my life and said it was the same thing. “Oh yeah…raising kids…yeah. So hard. I have a dog and it’s like the same thing!” said some child-less person to me a while ago.

Really? Like the same thing? How’s it going with the making sure they grow up to be a contributing member of society after you die? What’s that? Oh, how’s saving up for that college fund?

Sorry folks, I am full of it today. But let’s just all agree that it’s not the same thing. Not everything has to be the same, or even relatable. It’s ok.

Marketing gimmicks are the same.

There’s a lot of brands out there that say that they have the best thing or that you should stop using what you’re using and use their thing instead. Right, because we can’t make up our own minds.

When I started Magic Room Brand, I promised myself that business would never be based on marketing gimmicks. Like I’ve said before: Don’t watch the parade, be the parade. It’s not only ok to be different, but sometimes preferred.

I’m not going to tell you that Magic Room Brand is going to make you play better or sound better, but I will tell you that it’s different. It’s biodegradable, lightweight, strong, and sounds great. Do I think what you’re using now is crap? Nope. Do I think that Magic Room Brand gear deserves a spot in your bag? Yes, I do.

The day I have to tell you that MRB gear is something that it’s not just to get you interested in it, is the day that I’ll stop. So far, I don’t see it happening.

As for the cute lady in the prius with the bumper sticker, I’ve calmed down a little and I’m sorry. I hope your granddog makes you proud one day.

#bewhatyoumake