I understand why now
I’ve been a parent for just over seven years now. It didn’t take me too much longer after becoming one to understand why my parents often did what they did, or said what they said, when I was growing up. Now, I can’t say that I agree with all of it, but I can say that I at least understand it.
One of the things my parents did every once in a while was manufacture challenging environments for my sisters and I. Yes, growing up was – and is – already difficult enough, but it’s healthy to be in situations where you’re forced to step up to certain challenges.
Today, my 7-year old continues to get more involved with organized team sports and I recently told him about how I played tennis year-round growing up. After school. Throughout the summer. All_the_time. I remember loving it, but also remember just understanding that it was something that we just did. It was like going to school or eating. We played tennis.
Not what I signed up for
Right around the time I was 11 years old, I started noticing that the tennis camps and sessions were different in that I was consistently the smallest and youngest one there. I didn’t think too much of it until that situation started placing me in tournaments in older age groups. I was being put in these environments at age 11 so I could purposefully be up against 15- and 16-year olds.
Now, four or five years isn’t a huge difference. But back then, pre- and post-puberty was the defining factor, especially since I was…well…kind of a late bloomer. I was literally a boy playing against men. I was getting crushed in every match I played.
Yeah. It sounds as much fun as it was, meaning it wasn’t at all.
All I wanted to do after every match was go home and play with my toy cars, while my opponents were getting into their real, actual cars and driving away.
My dad had to explain it to me
He felt that if I was put in an older, more challenging age group, I would get better at the sport. He wasn’t wrong, but it was hard to measure since I never really knew how much better I was getting compared to kids my age – because I still wasn’t playing against them.
Turns out that the true takeaway from those years wasn’t learning how to play tennis at levels beyond my age, it was learning how to step my game up and be in an environment that was constantly difficult, constantly testing my physical, mental, and spiritual fortitude, constantly reminding me that I was out of my league, and constantly offering my age or size as valid excuses for losing – therefore tempting me to not always give it my all. For the record, I don’t ever recall taking the bait.
If you can learn to recognize when you’re in a challenging environment and put focus on improving, there’s not much you won’t be able to handle. Knowing how to be within that environment may not equal success, but it is necessary in order for success to even be a possibility.
I’ve been in situations like that a few times since those years. As a founder of a business venture, I’m in that situation right now. I’ve learned that it’s less about the outcome and more about the ability to play the long game, step up, and keep going.
Maybe I’m still getting smacked in straight sets, but some days, I’m able to hold serve and win a few games.
#bewhatyoumake
